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Apr. 19th, 2011 07:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
house_gembell*rubs her eyes* Apparently I drank a glass and a half of wine last night. Don't remember that.
I remember sitting in the dark and crying, though. A lot. Well, a lot for me - I don't think I'd ever cried before last night. Then again, I hurt a lot. As everyone's said, it's to be expected. Just wish it would stop. I can't self-medicate with wine all day, and coffee, while delicious, just kinda makes me hyper and intensifies everything. Hyperdepressed. I didn't think that could ever happen, but yesterday? Yep. Hyperdepressed is possible. It fucking sucks.
And I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at the situation. I'm angry at myself for not realizing sooner that this wasn't exactly what he wanted. That I wasn't exactly what he wanted. I'm angry that I let myself fall so hard, so fast.
And now, I guess I just have to put a stopper on my feelings for him, pick myself up, dust myself off, and face the day. Nothing else I can do. Not allowing myself to wallow in misery for another day. Just going to lock my feelings in a box and put them somewhere else for now.
-Em
I remember sitting in the dark and crying, though. A lot. Well, a lot for me - I don't think I'd ever cried before last night. Then again, I hurt a lot. As everyone's said, it's to be expected. Just wish it would stop. I can't self-medicate with wine all day, and coffee, while delicious, just kinda makes me hyper and intensifies everything. Hyperdepressed. I didn't think that could ever happen, but yesterday? Yep. Hyperdepressed is possible. It fucking sucks.
And I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at the situation. I'm angry at myself for not realizing sooner that this wasn't exactly what he wanted. That I wasn't exactly what he wanted. I'm angry that I let myself fall so hard, so fast.
And now, I guess I just have to put a stopper on my feelings for him, pick myself up, dust myself off, and face the day. Nothing else I can do. Not allowing myself to wallow in misery for another day. Just going to lock my feelings in a box and put them somewhere else for now.
-Em
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