house_gembell: (Em: WTF?)
Okay, so I've been shoved to the back quite a bit lately, and it's starting to wear on me. A lot.

I mean, for crying out loud, I'm finally back to being my normal self and now I can't go out and enjoy things, because Beth wants to do stuff or the husband decided he doesn't like me today? (Seriously, one day he was pissed at me because I was around too much and he wanted to spend time with Beth instead, then the next day he buys me a pony, because THAT'll make it all better, riiiight) I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of just not being treated like I used to. Like an equal.

SDRKGJnkrngnngdl. Just... very friggin' frustrated right now.
house_gembell: (Em: WTF?)
*flails*

WHEN WILL THIS BEING BUSY CRAP BE DONE OMG.

I am SO SICK of everything being "omg omg must get this done nao". Thought we were done with that on Saturday, when we walked across the stage and graduated and all that jazz. (I'll admit, I seriously considered scribbling my name on the card we handed to the guy who read off our name as we crossed the stage - idiot couldn't even pronounce Beth's last name right, it's HOEY. NOT HOWIE. HO-EE. ERGH. I didn't even pick the name and I still get pissy that people can't pronounce it right)

But noooo. Have to deal with packing and computer lessons and omgwtfidontevenknowanymore and canceling Skype dates with Guin and Kyte thinking I fell off the face of the planet.

I JUST WANT IT DONE PLZ

SO I CAN GO BACK TO BEING MYSELF.

Having Beth play singlet is driving me crazy. I hate it. I don't mind it so much if I have to front and pretend I'm singlet, but when I'm stuffed so deep down inside it's like I don't even exist anymore, that drives me insane. Just makes me want to shoot to front even more. And I can't. Because Beth has to be Beth, and not Embee, or Gembell.

*incoherent raging*

RAAAAGH
house_gembell: (Em: WTF?)
Not going to let myself get cranky. Not at all. Not now.

I'm just... still a little upset and confused, is all. But working past it.


The living room is a wreck. We really need to clean, but I'm procrastinating. Mikey needs us, and Guin is online, so, yeah. Back and forth.

This is turning into something of a stream of consciousness thing, like the stuff I used to write in 750 Words before Beth banned me from writing there. But the reasons she banned me are pretty much gone now, so maybe I might start that up again. Who knows.

Ugh. Just... ugh. Need to let go. That's what I have to do.

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