house_gembell: Drawing of a young woman with wavy dark auburn hair and black, square rimmed glasses. (Em)
[personal profile] house_gembell
What do you do when you realize you are not the person you thought you were?

There's been some sort of... shift inside here. I mentioned in my personal journal a few months ago that Beth and I were somehow slipping into each other - and I was deathly afraid we were going to integrate.

Well, I think parts of me have integrated with her. Just parts. The rest of me is here. The core Em that came here in the first place. But some parts have merged with Beth. And I haven't quite figured out exactly what I'm left with here. (Aside from lacking a penchant for swearing my face off - Beth has definitely taken that from me, haha) And some parts of me have just been... released into the ether, it feels like. Parts that have been let go of both of us, for our own sakes.

Beth has become more assertive lately. A little more fierce. A little louder. More comfortable in her own body, so to speak. She feels like I used to, she says. It's strange. We've both changed.

To put it really simply... I feel like the Em from the books, somewhat.

And I also feel very, very confused.
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October 2015

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